I woke up today from a very strange dream where I had been taken prisoner by a society of intelligent monkeys. In that dream-way everything changes but it's as if it never did, the tree house they had me in became a coach. One of those huge starliner things, the type bands go touring in only this one was full of cages. It almost added some back story to the dream, giving an indication of how they ended up there. Steve Guttenberg was in my dream too. He was trading with them whatever itis a human village trades with a simian society. Anyway, the bugger wouldn't help me and I had to escape myself. Thank you Mahoney!
It made me think of a post Lucy Vee did in her blog about movies with similar premises being totally different works all depending on their execution. I thought well there you go - you're wrong, my dream was just PLANET OF THE APES. You can't do intelligent primates without it just being PLANET OF THE APES.
But then I thought more about my dream and how I would adapt it into a movie. I suppose if you had it so the apes were already on earth, hiding away in some jungle or on some tiny pacific island that would be different.
Enough of that nonsense. Back to TOMB OF THE VIKINGS. I have, as you know, started my script earlier, pissing all over the "get in late, get out early" guide the screenwriting books throw at you BUT I have introduced my protagonist much earlier so maybe this is an exception to prove the rule.
The problem I'm having is making this action a part of the story; "integrating the action" as Bill Martell says. At the moment it's just a scene to show our heroine kicking the bejeesus out of a lot of burly men. So whilst it does "show character" it doesn't "move the story along". She's at a historical re-enactment on the Isle of Wight, her home. Being punished for fighting in school. As the Vikings were a man short she has to step in. The Anglo Saxons get a bit rough and things kick off. My heroine goes suitably medieval and is about to get trounced by the more numerous Saxons when they realize she's a girl and they back off. Vikings win, which is at odds with the history they were supposed to be re-enacting.
A couple of scenes on and she's out xmas shopping. Her Dad who was at the re-enactment has let her off for saving him from a good beating. She's buying a present for her boyfriend. Her secret boyfriend. Her parents want her to concentrate on her studies, not boys so it's all kept hush hush. The present she buys is photo album. She's had it filled with pictures of the two of them for him to take away with him when he goes to the mainland. She's scared he'll forgether, go off with some English floozy (the place is full ofthem). The last space is empty, something to fill in the future their future together. I'm pleased as piss with this, I think it's quite clever. Easily amused.
Anyhow, originally I had him give her a Samurai sword. Illegal on the mainland, not so on Wight. She's an action hero. She's going to use this to chop up undead Vikings (who regenerate/put themselves back together). Now however I'm not sure. I really want him to give her something sybollic not just practical. He lives in a big old manor house, there's suits of armour and antique swords on the walls she can use to chop people up.
So her arc is going from her being self reliant and never asking for help to admitting she can't take everything on herself. Her secret fear is that her boyfriend, the one person she does rely on I suppose, will leave and forget her. What kind of present says that? Perfume?
So back to my integrated action. My original introduction for the heroine was to have her out shopping for this present and then seeing her geeky twin brother being picked on by some bigger guys. She climbs a roof and drops some rubbish on them and then they chase her. She outruns them, jumping off the roof of a multi story car park onto the roof of a neighbouring building all using her super parkour skills. It's all very NOW. This chase now ends up on the museum roof. She has a slight accident, breaking a skylight and cutting herself. Her blood awakening the Viking leader. It ties her to the action and connects her to the protagonist in a way she never was in my earlier version.
My problem is if these 2 scenes following on so closely is just overkill. 1 scene to show she can fight and bites off more than she can chew. Another scene to show she can do parkour and bite off more than she can chew. Both times to protect family. Also, her brother is being picked on by a gang who want him to make drugs for them using his super geek brain. He's a chemist whiz, so now at the end when they need someone who's a chemist whiz to make a bomb for them he's the man.
I've decided that at the end, my heroine will ask for help. She'll send her brother off to get it and he'll return with a load of islanders, including the Anglo Saxons whose respect she so very violently earned in the opening. Great, a pay off, just what I needed to make my new opening relevant, but what of the drug dealing bullies left with egg on their face by my heroine? Redemption or ruin?
Problems, problems. The good news is whereas my 30 page original was actually 38 1/2, I so far have 58 pages of my 60 page rewrite and I'm almost done. A little rejigging and I can start a rewrite.
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